I felt this mood hit me hard..I couldn't shake
the darkness that I felt.
Although, the sun was shinning bright,something
just didn't seem right.
I felt the loneliness, I could hardly bare.
Felt as if nobody cared.
Felt so alone and scared, with nobody to share
my feelings with.
I was so down and feeling low..I had no where
I could go.
Nobody I could talk to..
I felt the hurt so deep inside me, all I could
do was cry.
Crying, became my only friend we seemed to
walk hand and hand.
Nobody, could understand why I kept crying.
It, was a feeling deep inside me.
I was grieving so, over the passing of my
I was as lonely as any human could be for
my mothers, arms to be wrapped around me.
I kept crying, saying to myself, someone hear
I feel like I'm dieing..Help me ~ help me
I was being thrown in the pits of darkness
where I stayed most nights and days.
Nothing seemed to matter to me.
It felt like every emotion was gone from me,
Only the emotion of sadness left inside
Something deep inside me felt so bad.
I couldn't deny I really had to keep trying
to make it through another day.
I felt so hopeless, I began to pray.
It seemed I prayed from morning to night
Asking the Lord, not to let me go crazy or
The feeling that really scared me was, everything
seemed to be in slow motion.
This feeling scared me so much.
As much as I tried, I just couldn't stop this
I had no control over it.
It had complete control over me.
It was swallowing me in pure darkness.
I began to pray and pray, I was so scared.
Weeks passed by.
From somewhere deep inside me I began to hear
It is a brand new day not to be spent in your
Alone, away from your family and friends.
Get up, .Get up, I say..
You, are loved so much by me and your family,
Let me put my arms around you,
My arms are forever around you protecting
you, and loving you.
Something you should always remember
I'm with you night and day.
You are never, never alone.
Now, go wash your face, comb your hair.
Don't be afraid, I'm right here.
When I came back, it was at least a start,
my face was washed and my hair was combed.
Praise the Lord!
I began to cry oceans and oceans of
I let out all my fears I was keeping inside,
The Lord listened, as he held me tight
"You are fine. It will take some time
for your grieving to pass but you will indeed mend.
One day at a time child. One day at
Your broken heart will mend in it's own time.
This I promise you.
So please, when your down and things really
Please remember they are not.
It is only a feeling that is making you feel
It is only your heart feeling sore
And feeling the urge to cry over something
that has pinched your soul for a while.
Call the Lords sweet name.
He'll be right there with you, with his loving
arms to surround you.
He'll touch your heart right from the very
You will feel so loved just by calling his
You will feel a certain strength within you,
in your heart and soul.
Your broken heart will mend, no need to live
in fear ever.
Someone really cares, someone loves you more
It is your Heavenly Father!.."
God bless you, always "
My Note Today:
I thank God, I got better and better everyday.
I didn't try to rush it.
I let myself heal, I took all the time I needed.
Time has passed by and I still miss my mother
with all my heart.
But, I know she knows this.
Just like I know without a doubt, I feel her
so much around me everyday..
I truly believe in my heart and soul,
my mother is here with us.
I believe we just can't see them, but, they
can see us.
Lord knows we can feel them around us.
I sure do.
They watch over us and still love us
with all their heart.
I know how much I am truly blessed, with a
mother who loved her children so deeply.
It wasn't long before I was able to smile,
laugh and love so much again.
The Lord, was blessing me with a precious
A baby boy, who made me smile and laugh
so much again.
He is eighteen now.
I'm blessed with such a respectable, kindhearted,
Who still makes me smile and laugh everyday.
I haven't a clue why or what I done to deserve
all these blessings.
I'm just so thankful.
I just know in my heart my mother, asked
the Lord, to bless me with a baby.
A baby of my own.
God. bless her. I just know she did..
a.k.a. Betty ~
All rights reserved ~ June 9, 2003
Read more of Betty's poetry Here